katie_omy

Trust me, Sitting at a restaurant, Bawling, Is certainly not a party. I've been really trying, And I mean trying, To resolve so many of the issues in the past I've had with friends. Today, I thought I'd get up the courage and send an innocent text message to my ex best friend asking if she wanted to see a movie with me and some other people. She was really nice about it, Said she'd let me know later, Etc. My patience level was getting really low, Like always. I said to myself, "Fuck it". I really really really want to be able to mend everything, And put all the puzzle pieces back together. When it comes to the topic about my old friends, It really hits me hard and it causes a mental breakdown, Which I'm currently going through, As we speak. I know I need to let go, But, It's something that I won't be able to just leave behind. I feel like it's my fault, All the time and I find myself constantly questioning what it would have been like, If I didn't say anything, If I had kept my mouth shut, And didn't make a big deal everything. But, I could tell I was being used. Everything was very clear. In result, the clearness started to fade and fade and slowly turn into a big blur. The whole summer, I felt like everything was spinning. I couldn't help but feel so much regret. To lose any best friend or someone you could call your sister, Is one of the hardest things. I'm hoping that within time, I can be forgiven for anything I have done. I would do anything, To get my friends back. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

I've come to a conclusion that not having that "someone" most girls pine for, is better than setting yourself up for disaster.

I have the sniffles, a sore throat, and a cough that creates a pain in my chest. Therefore, I will write more when I can think straight seeing as I haven't said anything that makes sense lately.